9 Pet Peeves That Don't Include Beef Jerky
I challenged myself (because that's what I need, is another challenge in my life) to write a blog post every single day for a month. Then I took it down a notch (because I'm all about lowering my own standards), deciding instead to write a post every single day - Monday through Friday - for a month.
The last 24 hours have been spent brainstorming topic ideas that range from parenting, to how-to's and hacks, to books and product reviews. Nothing's off limits, I'll write about anything (this is a not-so-subtle request for ideas - what do you want to hear me blather on about?)
As you likely know, I used to box myself in, writing only about marketing and small business. But I no likey being in a box, so I now play to my strengths: I focus on not being focused (this is a good time to interject to say I've never been so afflicted by Attention Deficit Disorder as I have since becoming an adult. God bless my children, because they already show the signs.)
Combing through my notebooks this morning to get inspiration for topics, I came across a list of my pet peeves that I'd jotted down at some point (another good time to interject: you should keep a running list of pet peeves).
I'm only sharing with you today the ones that don't involve beef jerky, because... well, I just don't want to get into the whole "beef jerky" thing today, mkay?
Here are the 9 pet peeves that don't include beef jerky
When people say their baby had colic - y'all, just because your baby cried a lot, doesn't mean he had colic. If your child went through a battery of tests to make sure nothing was truly wrong, screamed bloody murder for a minimum of three hours straight every single day for six weeks, if you hid yourself in a locked bathroom more than a few times to escape the screaming, then you can say your kid had colic. Otherwise, your baby may have just been an asshole.
Seeing "alot" either handwritten or typed. Stop it. Google that right now and get yourself straightened out.
When you get emails over and over from your kid's soccer club, begging for volunteer coaches, then finally get one that says they've found someone who can do it, but the volunteer doesn't have a ton of soccer experience, or a ton of extra time, but he'll do it, and you hear a collective sigh of relief from the other parents, who - like you - didn't make eye contact in hopes of being overlooked for the position; only to spend the rest of the season sitting next to players' parents screaming out at the field at how sucky the coach is, and how he doesn't spend nearly enough time with the kids.
Pulling back the pop top of a soda can and not pushing it back down
People who comment on news stories online, talking about how dumb the story is, or calling out the people in the story as being idiots, and the comments are littered with typos and grammatical errors.
Negative, passive-aggressive, click-bait-style posts on Facebook, intended to get a flurry of "Oh no, what's wrong?" or "What happened?" responses.
People who spank their kids for hitting someone. There's such irony in watching someone spank their kid, and in between spanks, shouting, "You - will - not - hit! - Do - you - understand - me?" (Don't confuse this peeve by thinking that I am against spanking. I used to be, then I became a parent. Now I'm totally on board.)
Not saying "excuse me" if someone has to move around you, or if they run into you
Port-a-potties because you can try avoiding them as much as possible, but you'll inevitably be forced to use one, and despite your shaky sense of security by hovering, you'll carry on, only to have your cowboy boot slip in the wet muck beneath you, forcing your bare hiney to splat down onto the equally wet seat perched menacingly behind you, after which you'll gag (because of your ultra-sensitive gag reflex), and hurriedly pull your pants up, and dart out, because you've run out of air from holding your breath so long, plus the gagging... and you ball your fist, shaking it in the air and vow, "As God as my witness, I'll never use a port-a-john again!"